Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Reminders of imperfection

Today was a fairly traumatic day for me. Yesterday I was out of my classroom due to professional development, AKA getting my teacher badge made, new teacher orientation, and signing a contract. My princiPAL told me to email his secretary to have her put my students back in the classroom that they came from for the day, which I did. I also emailed her Monday to see if she was going to put them back in there or if there was going to be a sub. I never got a response, but I figured my kids were taken care of. Silly me.

I got to my classroom this morning and it was a mess. The TV was on a weird channel and my students had all signed their names on my board. I hadn't even been there five minutes when I got a phone call from a parent. She told me that she'd gotten a call from the school saying that her son wasn't in his first period class. When she questioned him about it, he told her that he didn't want me to get in trouble (Thanks, T!) but that there was no teacher in there. She said that T didn't want me to know who he was, but that she was trying to check in to see what was going on. Her guess was probably as good as mine, so I told her that there had been some miscomunication and a sub hadn't been called. I also assured her that T and all my students would be marked present for yesterday. Then I decided to go down to the office to figure out what was going on.

The office told me that I should have called a sub, even though no one had told me this and even though I didn't even know HOW to call a sub. At that point, I was frustrated and feeling like a failure and so I began to cry right there in the office. It was awesome. And by awesome, I mean totally embarrassing, but hey no one can say I don't really care about doing a good job...As tears proceeded to slip down my face, Ms. P showed me how to get a sub next time. I really wanted to be like, do you mind if I like...blow my nose? She also asked me if I had a mentor teacher to ask questions of, and I didn't/don't. I haven't had anyone to ask questions of. There's a teacher down the hall that has been really helpful to me though. He was in Ms. P's office when all of this happened and he walked me to attendance so I could mark my kids present. Later in first period, he also walked down to check on me, which I really appreciated. Sometimes I just really feel as though there is so much pressure and just having someone checking in on me makes me feel so much better. The princiPAL also told me that there's a possibility of a full time position opening up, and if it does, I would get it. God is good to me.

When I got to first period, and apologized for making a mistake, my kids told me that they were quiet and that they even did the journal entry that I had posted up on the board. I was really proud- I love my kids.

As one of my favorite literary characters says, "tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it" and for that I am glad. (bonus points if you know this character...)

I also got to see Brittany Jackson today and I hadn't seen her since January. We chatted about her impending wedding, and her optometry school and went to the green bean and drank lattes as if we were roommates again. It was so nice. AND SPEAKING OF WEDDINGS, Bristol and David are getting married and I am so excited. I got to talk to Bristol tonight and that was fun too.

This day was not a loss, even though it was hard.

Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen yo, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

2 comments:

grace said...

ANNE SHIRLEY (with an E!)!!!!

how many bonus points do i get?? haha. i loved this post, dear. i think i would've reacted the same way to all that pressure. :)

you're awesome.

Veronica said...

Ahhhhhhh...somebody beat me to it. Anne Shirley, my hero. And don't worry, Jonah Days happen to everybody. I'm sure you're doing a great job and I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have you as a teacher. At least we're friends :)