I am both excited and nervous at the promise of impending adventure. Let me show you why I'm nervous:
July 14-July 28 Uganda July 28-August 1 move August 2-August 10 Colorado/California Roommate Reunion Roadtrip!
There's just a lot going on very quickly.
This summer has been restful and challenging in it's own right. I feel like I'm in a strange frame of mind these days and I will be curious to see how my trip to Uganda and my time with my dearest and bestest effect me. To be honest, I've felt very spiritually dry these days. A friend that I talk to about every six months reminded me that when things are easy, there is no room for our faith to grow. If it was never a challenge to believe in God and to trust in his presence, even when you can't feel it, you wouldn't need faith at all. I think, in light of this, I am in a good place. God is so good to me in that he has been so faithful to provide relationships that are encouraging to me. I'm so grateful for friends that hold me accountable and encourage me.
So in this state I am flying to Uganda on Thursday morning.
I really have no idea what to expect. I expect for certain that my heart will be broken. This isn't a bad thing though. I've never been to a third world country, and can't even imagine the day to day challenges. I'm also going to be living life alongside orphans for two weeks-- if that isn't heartbreaking, I don't know what is.
In some strange way though, I also expect to find joy.
Oswald Chambers says, "I am not here for self-realization, but to know Jesus Christ." This trip would be nice if I came away knowing who I am a little more, knowing my place in the world, knowing the struggle of the believer in Uganda, knowing how I can be a better teacher, daughter, friend, etc. I'm not quite interested in these niceties. What is the point of knowing yourself better, if you don't know the Source? I want to know God better. I think that's why these past months have been difficult, because I feel like I haven't accelerated my relationship with Christ at all. But I trust that he is in that.
As these next few weeks take a strange turn out of the ordinary for me, I am excited. I am also nervous, because I know that God is not tame, and there is no telling what will happen when you encounter the Living God.