She (Gladys) had been a missionary in China for six or seven years before she ever thought of wanting a husband. When a British couple came to work near her, she began to watch the wonderful thing they had in marriage, and to desire it for herself. Being a woman of prayer she prayed–a straight forward request that God would call a man from England, send him straight out to China, and have him propose. She leaned toward me on the sofa on which we were sitting, her black eyes snapping, her bony little forefinger jabbing at my face. “Elisabeth,” she said, “I believe God answers prayer! He called him.” Then in a whisper of keen intensity, “but he never came.”


Today as I drove to work I was thinking about this passage that a friend had posted on a blog. So often we are so quick to assume that God will not, or cannot or doesn't care to answer our prayers, but as I meditated on this a profound but very simple concept came to mind. God is faithful. He has promised to listen to us and to answer us when we talk to him. Gladys recognized something in the above passage and that is that people fail, so isn't it 100 percent more likely that a person would fail than God? How quick we are to pass God off as a God who doesn't answer prayer. How quickly we forget that he is faithful to himself and to us.

I'm falling asleep so I can't expound further, but maybe you understand what I mean.

Monday.

I slipped and fell in the cafeteria today and students laughed. Good thing I make a fool of myself in front of students all day every day. I should have taken a bow...


Today when M. came to class he gave me a hug and I said, "No public displays of affection, plus Dr. Flake is standing right there." He said as dramatically as possible, "I don't care if everyone knows of my love" and got down on one knee there in the hall.

D. was running late to class and he needed to run back to one of his other teachers so he came to see me to get a note. I didn't have any paper so I wrote a note on his hand and then signed it. It was like being famous.

Other things happened but those were the ones most easily written. Another Monday survived.

mmm, Saturday morning.

I thought I was past crying in high school bathrooms, but today I found myself crying in the teacher bathroom. Maybe some things will never change.

a lot of times i feel like i am not very good at what i do. i don't suppose there's any way to tell. and i guess i'll just keep doing small things with supernatural big love and hope that the LORD uses this broken vessel because that's what he delights in doing.

Dear God,

Please help me to understand and believe the resurrection. Help it to saturate my life and cause radical and passionate living. Please help me to trust in you. Help me trust that you have a plan for me that is unique and vital to your kingdom coming on earth. Sometimes I'm tempted to believe that I am not important or necessary. You delight in using me (even though you don't need any of us people.)and I am part of the body. When I am not functioning as you made me to, the body is disadvantaged, even hurt. Please help me to not be disabled by loneliness. Please provide true community. God, please don't let me be overcome with discouragement. Don't let me forget that our struggle isn't against flesh and blood. Please fight on my behalf. Thank you for who you are, and how you are present in my life, even when I cannot feel you. I want to love you, and I want to love your people well.

Amen.


Here's one of my drawings from church today.

Today I was ushering my children into class. J. had been standing out in the hall with me and when the bell rang I said, "okay J., go into the classroom so we can get started." He said "No. I will only go in after you do because I want to make sure you don't get jumped because you are so small."

How Long, Al Gordon

How long 'till I gaze upon your face?
Gaze upon your face, gaze upon your gaze?
Jesus we will gaze upon your face in the morning light

How long 'till you wipe these tears away?
Wipe these tears away, wipe these tears away?
Jesus you will wipe these tears away when the morning comes

Pre-Chorus
Yes, I know you will come
Yes, I know you've already won
Yes, I know my Redeemer lives
My Redeemer lives

How long 'till there's justice on the earth?
Justice on the earth, justice on the earth?
Jesus there'll be justice on the earth when you come again

Pre-Chorus
Yes, I know

Chorus
Come, Lord Jesus! We are desperate for you here!
Come, Lord Jesus! All creation calling out!

How long 'till we hear the victory roar?
Hear the victory roar, hear the victory roar?
Jesus we will hear the victory roar when this race is run

First Period

The students quiet
for just a moment
as they enter

Then with a burst of
energy
explode
into conversation

Class has begun
and I am responsible
for learning,
mine and theirs.

My personal post secret:

I used to be afraid of failure. Sometimes I still am, but lately I think I am more afraid of being alone.