God is so faithful to remind me that he has my life under control. I've been so preoccupied with finding a job and I've been really emotional about it. I'm not very brave and I very much hate change. I know that whatever happens after graduation my life will change. It is inevitable. I just always enjoy my life so much that I can't even imagine change being a good thing.
Last weekend I tried to go as a chaperon to the men's varsity basketball game. I needed an extracurricular activity to go to, and since we were in the championship, this seemed like a good event to attend. I emailed the athletic director and he said that they didn't need another chaperon. Saturday afternoon, my friend Crystal who student teaches with me called me to tell me that I could go on the bus, I just won't have my ticket paid for by the school. Once I got to the school one of the staff had an extra ticket that she gave to me. So not only did I get to go to an extracurricular event, I got my ticket paid for. As I sat on the bus of screaming teenagers, I began to think about how God had provided for me in such a simple way. (Later on this trip, I went and sat on the back of the bus with the tough kids. As I got up to move to the back of the bus to attempt at crowd control, one boy turned to me and said, "Ms. Jackson, if you go to the back of the bus, you won't come back." I think he was serious; good thing I'm scrappy.)
Another example of God's reminders of his hand on my life happened at IV. I was sitting at IV during worship and I began to think about all my worries. I need a job by August and it just seems really impossible right now. Crystal says that whenever she's struggling with something, God shows her a penny to pick up, like a reminder that he will provide for her. I was sitting there, struggling through my trust issues with God when my roommate, who was standing behind me tapes me on the shoulder. She handed me a penny. She didn't say anything, she didn't know anything I was thinking, she didn't hand it to the kid sitting next to her. It was as if God was saying, I will take care of you.
And so, I will continue to pray for trust as I begin this new part of my life. I will also pray that I can enjoy these last few weeks of my college undergraduate.
Listening to: All American Rejects
6 months ago