How He Loves

He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.
Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.

Yeah, He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves.

So we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

That he loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves

He loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves




_ John Mark McMillan

"I am a visitor here, I am not permanent."

The only warm place in our house is the bathroom, therefore, I am sitting on the bathroom floor with a cup of coffee. What a multi-purpose room! I have several things that are on my mind.

I suppose I will begin with something that I've been thinking about concerning the election. There's been discussion about the idea of distribution of wealth. I think that wealth should be distributed. I think that we are given wealth so that we can in turn bless others. Here's the catch though. I think it's one thing for the church to be distributing wealth and another for the government to be distributing. It's one thing to be distributing wealth because it's on your heart, and another to be distributing wealth because it's mandatory.

Just something to think about.


currently listening to: postal service

I am a precious child of God, and yet I feel like I come up inexplicably short. In God's eyes, the only eyes that matter, I am worth so much and yet I just don't feel good enough. This is silly, and I am over analytical.






listening to: keane, somewhere only we know

Fall break is desperately needed.

I am very over every thing this week. It's effecting me dreadfully.


Somehow I need to stave off senioritis.

Disenchantment.

Sometimes I get disappointed in people.


I know that I'm not perfect, but I have really high standards, and I expect the same from everyone else.

Maybe this isn't fair...


currently listening to: jimmy eat world

Tonight at IV, people shared about the places they'd gone on mission trips this summer. Isaac and Becca talked about Taiwan, Joey talked about GUPY, Veronica talked about working at Camp Bob, Lindsay talked about Urbana (even though she didn't go this summer...), and Ann talked about STIM and Kenya. All of those are places that interest me, especially Kenya, but when Joey talked about Glenwood and the kids, all I could do was cry. Every time I hear what God did at Glenwood Camp in the hearts of the kids, I cry. I realized that my heart is in that neighborhood. I've been thinking about where to go next year and what to do and I've been asking God to make it clear. I think He is, but I will keep my heart and ears open.

Today I sat on the steps and loured a little cat in. He was black and I named him Jason. Amanda says we can't have a cat because they'll bring in fleas. I want one really badly. And This was was really cute. If he was a she I would name him Ella Fitzgerald. I don't actually know what this cat is. It's up in the air: Jason or Ella. I want this cat. Or one just like it.

Today I went to Northern. I began to interact with students as they did work in groups and I loved it.

Yesterday at tutoring, Lesli said "Can I ask you something? Where were you last week?"
I was like "Lesli, Marshall told you that I was sick." She got very quiet and focused on her math and I said, "Lesli, I will not be sick again, if I can help it." She looked back up at me and said "Thank you." She was dead serious.

I love that kid.

That's all for now, I guess. Only that it's getting cold and my body temp is plummeting and I will be frozen until the weather gets over 75 degrees again.

Top Ten Reasons (so far) I love ninth graders.

1. The boys are still shorter than the girls.
2. I'm still taller than them.
3. They're funny.
4. They think I'm funny.
5. High school is still new.
6. Short stories are part of the curriculum.
7. They're awkward but still manage to think that everything's about them.
8. School is still cool.
9. They are honest.
10. They think yearbook pictures are a conspiracy.


I feel like this will be refined as the year goes on.

I am not my own, and God is a God of surprises.

I am about ready to blow my brains out due to education classes. I really hate them and I think that's funny because I love working in the high school.

I still am not sure 100 percent what I will do when I graduate, and that's okay because it's only now the beginning of October. I've also realized that this is only for a year.

For some reason I always forget how much I love high school kids and how excited I get when I just walk into a high school. I walked into the classroom to meet my cooperating teacher on Wednesday and I felt surrounded by electricity. I was so excited! As the kids came into the classroom, I got even more excited. I love my kids. I've met only half of my students, but I absolutely love them. My kids are funny and bright, and because they're only Freshmen, I'm still taller than most of them. Then I became afraid. Afraid because Northern is whole 30 minutes away from the UNCG campus/ Glenwood. Afraid because what if Northern offers me a job; it's not a very diverse school. Afraid because what if I love it; I'm not big on change.

Today though I was thinking. I have two classes of CP students. My CP (college prep)English 9 kids are really overlooked at Northern. Northern is a very idealistic school, which I love, but there isn't much room for lower preforming students since the high school wants to be in the top 10 high school in the US. There are many honors classes and AP classes but not all kids are ready for those higher level classes, so they're put in CP, or as we call them at Northern "pre-honors". I have patience for those kids, I want to work with those kids. I never really thought about the fact that someone has to love those kids at Northern too. The kids that have been displaced and pulled from wherever to boost diversity. For now, that person is me. I am really excited about it. I can't really say, but I think that working at Northern would be a great fit for me. So my plan is to work hard and see if I don't get a job offer in May. I am praying about it. God will open doors where He wants me to go, just as He's opened my eyes and heart to the kids around me. We'll see where I end up and instead of worrying, at least today, I am excited to dig right in, see how God will use me and see where He puts me for next year. 30 minutes isn't that long of a drive, after all.



real time: 4:32 PM
currently listening to: Secondhand Serenade
currently reading: Geoffrey Chaucer's Troilus and Criseyde


PS. I have had to change my profile due to the fact that I now also have a blog that my students can see. It kinda makes me sad that this blog too has had to become a bit more starched and professional. But... go Nighthawks!

http://emilyjackson.blogspot.com/