Sunday, April 27, 2008

Silence, and the spoken word

Last night I went to campus and sat on the swing in the cool, quietness and listened. I feel like I get swept up by the business and noise of everything around me. I get so tired. It was healthy to just listen and be still. I want to know God in the stillness. He speaks in a still, small voice, so it makes sense that if we never are where we can hear such a thing, we miss the God who desperately wants to communicate with us because He loves us.

This afternoon, Ann and I went to Carolina Theater to hear Nikki Giovanni, national treasure and professor at Virginia Tech, read her poetry. I love spoken word and I love poetry. I was very excited to hear her, and was thinking about how exciting it would be to be able to take a class from her. But Giovanni was something else: something between offensive and awesome. It was very much about race, and while she can be proud to be a Black woman, I never feel allowed to be proud of being a White woman, because if I were to feel proud of that, it would be pride in holding others back although this is something I have never personally done. I cannot understand why everything has to be racially charged. Are we not a race of people, all struggling for the same things? I see more and more that people are not interested in reconciliation and growth, but in collapsing inwardly, into their own communities of like-minded people. Giovanni was neither gracious or kind, which served the audience with a caustic laugh or two. Giovanni told a story about how a man who had been a racist died and how she was glad he died and she said, it was the same was a Jew would feel about Hitler. It reminded me of that story that Corrie Ten Boom told about how a man who had been a guard at Ravensbruck, where she'd been imprisoned came to hear her speak. She saw him and everything that had happened, and all that he had done to her came pouring back. He asked her forgiveness and though she didn't know how it happened, she genuinely forgave this man. It wasn't easy and it wasn't possible without help from the Holy Spirit, but she was gracious. So different than Giovanni's response, which I will not repeat here.

I guess I'm just frustrated because in my desire to understand people and to love them, it gets very discouraging to hear people dislike you for something that you cannot control.

I think that I will end my critique here. But I have a lot more on my mind. Dr. Giovanni, you are a talented poet, and a engaging speaker, and our mayor may have given you the key to Greensboro, but you have much to learn about humanity.


Now I'm listening to the rain and thunder. I like this a lot.

1 comment:

Megan said...

I feel that same kind of racial confusion. Have you read 'being white' from iv press?

Also, I love reading your thoughts and I'm stoked that you have a blogspot.