I'm not looking forward to adjusting to writing 2010, but I will soldier through.

2010 can't possibly more eventful than 2009

In 2009, I aced student teaching, graduated from college, got my first job, rented my first apartment by myself (and cat), and bought a car.

2010 should be pretty tame. I can't actually imagine anything more eventful than any of those things.

I should be relatively adjusted to adult life in 2010. I am not sure how I feel about that other than that I guess that's "normal."

Dishes & Living in the Now

Every time I go into the store I find myself looking at dishes. I can't really explain my attraction to dishes, other than that they're pretty and I would like to have a house full of beautiful things. As I browse through the dishes section in whatever store I may happen to be in, I tell myself, when I get married, I will have a registry and then I will get some wonderful dishes.

Saturday, when Mom and the girls went shopping, I was too sick to go, but there were sales and I knew which dishes I wanted so I gave Mom some money and had her go get these for me:


I decided that waiting to get married to get dishes that aren't pink and plastic is silly. I have not given up on marriage by any stretch of the imagination, and I cannot wait to fall in love and work hard at a relationship every day for the rest of my life, but I don't want to miss out on things now. These dishes are a symbol of living in the now. I am going to enjoy them, and eat off of them and you are welcome to join me.

The Promise of Hopes Met

The other day as I drove down the road toward Wake Forest, I was thinking about my precious students. I have not yet learned to leave my work at home in the respect, although I never really get to leave my work at home because planning and grading seem to never be done. I'm not complaining though, I like to plan thus far. As I learn more and more about my students (that they have babies, or are on drugs, or are homeless or have terrible heartbreaks (as do we all, some greater than others. some at younger ages than others)) I cannot help sometimes but to be burdened down.

I drove down the road, mulling all this over-- pondering the lives of the various children that God has placed in my classroom when this song began to play: The First Noel/ Mary Mary

Suddenly I realized that redemption for each of my students was in the birth and death of God made flesh in Jesus Christ. A favorite of mine, CS Lewis wrote in his book Miracles that "He comes down; down from the heights of absolute being into time and space, down into humanity; down further still, . . . to the very roots and seabed of the Nature He has created. But He goes down to come up again and bring the whole ruined world up with Him."

That is a strength to hope in. He is making all things new, singing over creation and in hearts, calling people to himself. Here was the hope that my students seek in their hearts as the run from the empty to the empty. Hope is not found in me, nor in my worrying over them. Hope, for me and for them, is only found in Christ and hope is found in my bringing them to his throne in prayer. (Just like their mamas should be doing.) Hope is found in prayer that Christ will take hold of their hearts and bring them to Heaven one day.

"O Little Town of Bethlehem" reminds us that The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight.



I hope that you are delighted as your hopes and fears are met in Christ this Christmas and as you continue to walk in his light this year.

---

My two favorite Christmas moments this year are as follows:

1. Linden begged Dad to call her new phone so she could hear her ring tone. Dad called it several time and then proceeded to dance wildly around the kitchen. Lindy and Dad say it's the "best ring tone ever."

2. Last night I had a terrible time sleeping. I had a fever and I couldn't stop coughing. Mom came and made me take medicine at 4 which had something in it to help me sleep. Needless to say, when Chels and Lindy came to get me at 7 or 8, I was out cold. I was super groggy, but I do vaguely remember cold fingers on my neck and hearing Lindy tell Chelsea that she was "taking my pulse."

Mankind was my business

"But you were always a good man of business, Jacob," faltered Scrooge, who now began to apply this to himself.

"Business!" cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. "Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!" - A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens

Tomorrow is Christmas. I could barely believe that today was Christmas Eve. In the business of school and illness, I have been so preoccupied. I have only gotten out of my bed a couple times today and yesterday. While you would think that that would give me lots of time to reflect on the birth of Christ, really my thoughts have only been on myself. Funny how easy it is to think about yourself. And by funny I mean, deadly. That worked out rather nicely (Seth Cohen would approve, see season 2 episode 5, The SnOC (oops, did I mention I haven't left my bed lately??)), as I am now at the point which I would like to make regarding the bolded quote above. We've all watched A Christmas Carol a million times and know that Scrooge's biggest downfall was the fact that he was self-consumed and so had confused his profession with his purpose. Scrooge tells Marley that he was a good businessman, to which Marley tells him that his business was mankind. What does it mean to make mankind our business? It certainly resembles the heart of God. It might be self-centered to say that Christmas was all about mankind. But in a strange paradox God sending his son to earth was all about mankind, in the most God-glorifying, sacrificing way ever. So like God, we are to be about the business of mankind. Our job mustn't be confused with the divine calling to love and serve God by loving and serving people.

and that's all my brain can get out for now.

Oh, and this: Have a Merry Christmas

Babar the elephant cat just came and got in bed with me. She went right to sleep and is smiling, cute as can be. Jacksons have a weakness for cats. But this isn't what I wanted to write about. Really what I wanted to say is that having to wait til the 22 for a Christmas break really made me long for Christmas just a little more. For four hundred years, God's people were longing for him to speak to them again. And when he did, I think that none of them could have expected what occurred. This Christmas season, I think I am more appreciative of how God used small people and places to make his grand redemptive plan come about. How often do we get caught up thinking that we are not the right person for God to use? If we look at the Christmas story, how of its elements shouldn't have been used?

I don't know if this made sense since I feel like it's really only half a thought.

Come on, Christmas vacation!

Tomorrow is my last day of school til January 4. I never thought the day would come. I think I am pretty sick; I was on the couch all weekend blowing my nose and coughing up a storm. I think I am just really worn down from the semester. Fortunately we had a three hour delay today so I got to sleep in some, and I didn't have to teach either, because the students only went to periods 4-6. I was so dizzy, and I was imagining myself passing out in the commons area and hitting my head on the concrete and students walking over me and on me. I am so mellow-dramatic when I'm sick, but I can't help it.

I cannot wait for Christmas vacation. I will have a whole week and a half to myself.

AND NOW, back to bed to watch the OC!