Monday, July 6, 2009

"I'd like my life to count for something...more than just staying home in Asheville, getting married, having babies...Maybe the feeling comes from reading too much poetry- or just because I'm young. But I don't think so. I want my life to be full. I want to laugh - and love. Help others to the limit of my ability too. Those were the hopes that sent me on this wild fling into the mountains, weren't they? Yes, surely that was it." - Christy, pgs 61-62

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I get that quote. I feel it acutely. Only I haven't gone on any wild flings yet. I intensely hate this waiting period. Waiting to see what God will do. Waiting to see where he puts me. I am really struggling to believe that God has something good and purposeful planned for me. In fact right now, I feel rather forgotten and bitter. My heart is very frustrated currently. I am so barely trusting, I might not be at all.

3 comments:

Megan said...

I love you. I'm sorry everything's so up-in-the-air right now, and I'm praying for clarity to come for you and Rachel!

I firmly, firmly believe that this year will be full of blessing as a result of you trusting God right now, even though it is so difficult. You can make it!

Lindsay said...

Emily, I cannot fully imagine how you are feeling. Thank you for so openly sharing it on your blog. I love you, my friend. Very much. I pray Psalm 13 for you, that you would not feel forgotten, that God would demonstrate his unfailing love for you in BIG ways.

Lindsay said...

Emily, my sweet friend, I love you so very much. You are such a blessing in my life. I cannot fully understand how you are feeling right now, but I am praying Psalm 13 for you-- that God would demonstrate his unfailing love to you in BIG ways, that his goodness would be apparent. I love you, friend.