Saturday, November 22, 2008

I do a really terrible job of focusing on school work when there are no people around me. Tonight Amanda is in Jacksonville with her fiancee, and Ann is at a birthday party. I had offers to do things tonight but I declined them to do school work, and here I am. I should pack up my lap top and go to the Green Bean, but I feel like that takes so much effort and also that would put me at my 3rd cup of coffee today.

Yesterday Dad came up and took Ann and I on a date. We went and saw the "Boy in the Stripped Pajamas". It was an amazing film and I cried several times. I don't want to give anything away, but it is such a beautiful, tragic story about the son of a Nazi officer and a Jewish boy in a concentration camp who become friends.

Today in my reading for Sunday School tomorrow I was looking over Numbers 13 and 14.
As I read, I just really got a sense of God's heart for his people. He provided for them a wonderful land, and they get caught up in logistics. They cried and wept all night. They demanded that someone take them back to Egypt. They questioned God's heart for them. As I read, I got more and more sad. It's my own heart that is just like that. I don't trust God as I should, I assume that he doesn't have my best at heart. Joshua tells the people not to be afraid because God is with them, and they pick up rocks to stone him. God grows angry with his people and Moses still pleads on their behalf. By the end of the 14th chapter, the people have realized their sin, and ask for God's forgiveness but they can't go into the promise land, but they try anyways, and they are defeated. What a sad story.


Father,
Please tune my heart to yours. Help me to realize that you are leading me with my best at your heart. Help me to trust you, even when it seems crazy! Help me to be like Moses, focused on you always and a advocate for people.





Currently listening to: Bright Eyes
Currently reading: The Great Divorce
Currently eating: Mac and Cheese