I have always had high expectations for myself. When I don't feel as though I am doing a good job, my first thought is that I should just stop. I don't really think of this as a quitter's mentality, because I do things with my whole heart. I have always been my hardest critic. This is one reason I have really struggled with my job lately. I've wondered if I am in the right place. More than anything, I want to do a good job. I once wrote this poem:

Why I Became a Teacher

I am in charge of light bulbs,
of fireflies, and small stars

I direct whispers,
half wishes and shy smiles

to ignite wild fires.

And that is what I want to do: ignite wild fires in children's hearts and minds. But I've written a new poem:

Year Two

The power isn't there.
Not to inspire,
not to love boldly,
not to bravely enter their space
day in and day out.

I can't remember why this grew here.
This dream that is now a half-hearted hope that this matters.


The good thing is that I do know where the power comes from.