"Some people care too much. I think it's called love." - A.A Milne

Today in 6th period, one of my kids came in to class. Normally he’s running around, and chatting with people, causing general mayhem. Today he was white as a sheet. His eyes were barely open. He looked terrible, and I was really worried. I passed out the quizzes and when I gave him his, I asked him if he wanted to take it later. He told me that he didn’t want to, so I said he could try it later. A few minutes later he got mad at me, and wanted to know why I took his quiz before he was done. I gave it back to him, but then he put his head down. I had told him he could. I went over to see if I could help him, but he got mad at me part two. I don’t know if he was high or sick, or what but the whole time I was teaching I could only be concerned. I had this terrible pit of fear in my stomach because I didn't know what was wrong, and there was nothing I could do.

After school I called his Mom to tell her that he was sick.

And then I thought about it and realized how much I love my students. How I would do anything to help them if they would let me. Today M. wouldn’t let me help him, instead he got angry and told me that he just wanted to be left alone and that I always sneered at him when I got upset. I was only acting out of genuine concern. And I realized the difficulty with loving people: it’s scary to really care about people because you can’t control them. All you can control is yourself but when you love someone with God’s heart, you don’t choose to love them, you just do.

I just hope the kid’s okay. And on Monday I’ll care for him the same as if he hadn’t snapped at me. My job is to love my students, regardless of whether they are ever kind or respectful back.

Tough.