Pretend we're getting coffee.

It would go down a little something like this:










I am in a fairly expositional, thoughtful, people watching mood. Also, I have a lot of thoughts running around in my head, so hang on to your hats.

A) I am so at peace and restless all at the same time. I have such a confidence that God is going to work things out. But I think that it's normal to also feel a little restless, I know that I am in God's heart and in His hands, but I am always wanting more.

B)I think that kids have to challenge you to know your love. It does make sense. You don't know that you can trust someone to love you until you give them opportunity not to. I really need to internalize this.

C)I want to live a life of open-ness. Open to God, to people, to opportunity, to new-ness. And yet I hate change. But God asks us to live open handedly. I don't know how to, maybe. Or maybe I do and I'm afraid to.

D) I have been struggling for ever so long with reconciling how Jesus' burdens are light and easy while at the same time He tells us to take up our cross. In my mind it goes something like this, Jesus' burden = cross, we take Jesus' burden = we carry the cross, which does not = easy or light. Everything within me revolts against cross carrying. I know that carrying the cross is a part of discipleship. Bonhoeffer says, "God is a God who bears. The Son of God bore our flesh, He bore the cross, He bore our sins, thus making atonement for us. In the same way, His followers are also called upon to bear, and that is precisely what it means to be a Christian. Just as Christ maintained his communion with the Father by His endurance, so His followers are to maintain their communion with Christ by their endurance. We can of course, shake off the burden which is laid upon us, but only find that we still have a heavier burden to carry- a yoke of our own choosing, a yoke of our self. But Jesus invites all who travail and are heavy laden to throw off their own yoke and take his yoke upon them- and his yoke is easy and his burden is light. The yoke and the burden of Christ are His Cross. To go one's way under the cross is not misery and desperation but peace and refreshment to the soul, it is the highest joy. Then we do not walk under self made laws and burdens but under the yoke of Him who knows us and who walks under the yoke with us. Under His yoke we are certain of His nearness and communion." [Well, Detrich, I'm not sure I get it.] Only I think that Bonhoeffer is saying that somehow the yoke is lighter because Christ is carrying it too. I guess even if I don't get it, I'm in good company because Luther says, "Discipleship is not limited to what you can comprehend." I do not comprehend this, quite.


I wrote more in my journal, but I will keep a little to myself.







currently listening to: the get up kids, overdue