Community

I am terrified of graduating. I am so terrified of losing my community. For four years, I've been loved and challenged by InterVarsity. And When I graduate all my friends will move away and I won't be able to go to IV anymore. Sophomore year, I tried to become involved with my chuch by joining a small group and my efforts were not rewarded. I asked to be placed in a small group with older women but women wanted to be in small groups with their husbands. I was placed with a group of older girls. The small group coordinators asked me to lead the small group but I felt awkward doing so because I was the youngest, and the girls turned out to all know each other and didn't have any interest in knowing me at all. I just feel like adults don't want to know me. I don't know how to relate to adults. I'm not sure I want to. I hate the thought of pushing through life by myself, trying to force people into community with me. I'm so afraid that I'll be lonely. At least my friends that are getting married will have a friend to push into the awkwardness with and one that will understand how they feel. I'm sure when the time comes it won't be so bad as what I've made it out to be in my head.