We just had the most refreshing storm ever. I opened all my windows and let it blow through my house while I watched out my my porthole that is right above the sink. Somehow washing dishes wasn't so monotonous. Lately I've been reading "The Summer of the Great Grandmother" by Madeleine L'Engle. She is one of my literary heroes. I think that she is so candid and delightful.

This is something that she had to say that stood out to me:

"At best I am far from a perfect wife, or mother, or daughter. I do all kinds of things which aren't sensitive or understanding. I neglect all kinds of things which I ought to do. But Connie made me realize that one reason I don't feel guilty is that I no longer feel I have to be perfect. I am not in charge or the universe, whereas a humanist has to be, and when something goes wrong [others] like most convinced humanists I've known, [become] enclosed with self-blame because [they] can't cope with the situation, and this inability presents her with a picture of herself which is not the all-competent, in-control-of-everything person [they want] to be.

It is a trap we all fall into on occasion, but it is particularly open to the intelligent atheist. There is no God and if there is, he's not arranging things very well; therefore, I must be in charge. If I don't succeed, I'm not perfect, I carry the weight of the whole universe on my shoulders. And so the false guilt which follows the refusal to admit any failure is inevitable."


That was such a thing that I needed to read. I tend to be a little bit of a control freak. I like to feel like I'm in control because then I know things will happen the way I like. Of course, this doesn't work well for real life because there is so little that we have any say over. L'Engle reminds us that because God is in control of our lives, it takes the pressure off. What a comforting thing to hear. I love to make things about me, but God is in control of my life and he will do with it what he will in spite of my need to try to make things happen, or not happen as the case may be.


Currently listening to: Gregory Alan Isakov, That Moon Song