I took Friday off. I needed some space. The kids probably did too since all in the same week we had the writing test, I was accused of owning slaves (see post below), and had a child walk out of my door screaming that he was going to get me fired before he slammed the door behind him. In addition to all that was the heartbreak of a normal week and it just all seemed to pile on me all at once and I had a break down in the corner of my room during my planning. I know this all sounds stupid perhaps, but sometimes I just really become aware that I could possibly be fighting a losing battle. Mother Teresa once said, "Words which do not give the light of Christ increase the darkness." I feel that that is true as sometimes I just listen to the conversations that my students have and I grow sad. They are so unkind to each other, or talk about things way over their maturity level.

Today in fourth period, T. came in probably an hour late to class with a cafeteria tray full of food. He has a seat and then he asked me where I was today. I told him that I took a sick day. I asked him how the sub was. He told me that she wasn't me. I laughed and then he said, "How you gonna leave me like that?"

He might not have meant to encourage me. He probably didn't, since his chief goal in life sometimes seems to make my life harder, but my heart soared back up with hope. This precious boy, who is about as easy to love as it is to hug a porcupine, let me in ever so briefly. Even though he'd never admit it, I think that he knows that I care about him.

I am delighted and that right there is enough to get me to spring break.

Currently listening to: Spoon