My Fourth Period

One of my students came into class today and told me that he wasn't supposed to be in my class all semester. He said he went to the counselor and got switched from drama into my class. A's taking English 9 again as an elective. I didn't even know that kids could do that or would want to. A said that he told the counselor that even though he'd taken English 9 already, he wanted to take it again so he could improve his skills. I know that he wants to be in my class for his friends that are in there, but I think it's so crazy that he wants to take another English class as an elective...

This afternoon E. passed me a note that said, "OMG. Can I have ur phone #?"
I said, "No." Of course he wanted to know why not and asked if it was because he was Hispanic. I told him that it was actually not because he was Hispanic but because he was 15. How crazy!

Yesterday my princiPAL came into my classroom with a student and informed me, "I'm returning Mr. H to class."
I said, "Is he supposed to be in here? I've never seem him before."
This child was in my classroom 10 minutes, maybe before he decided he was going to get up and walk out. I told him if he left I'd call the princiPAL. He left and I called. Today I saw this student at lunch, but he definitely wasn't in my class today. I said, "Hi B! Do I need to write you up for skipping?" He just stared at me. I checked with the attendance office today and he hadn't checked out. I then marched to the office and got a stack of write up slips and wrote one for B. I didn't write ANYONE up last semester, and now I have written up two within a week. And I think if one more child in 4th period says "the N" word after I've asked them not to, I am going to write them up too. I'm on a roll.

I have found myself so challenged and exhausted by my 4th period kids. They are a rough bunch. They are students that are typically classified as "bad" or "disruptive" or "impossible." While those are descriptive words that could possibly be ascribed to my students, I want to look deeper and see children that need to be loved. I don't know how people that don't believe in the redeeming love of Christ flowing through their veins teach. I don't know how they walk in a classroom day in and day out and never lose their cool or their desire to love and help children learn. I am learning so much. I have this one student who is so difficult and all I want to do is love him. At first glance, he looks like a hoodlum, a thug, someone to fear or to dislike because he is disrespectful, unkind and disruptive. Every time that I look into T's eyes though I see a small, scared little boy. It breaks my heart. He is trying desperately to get attention through his misbehavior and sometimes my only option is to write him up. I want to love him. I want the redeeming love of Christ to flow out of me to him and to never give up on him. I, in my own power and strength, can't even begin to make this happen.

I am so weary and just want to rest in the power of Christ.

Father, show me your character so I can show it to these precious children every day.