"You feel safer to cling to a sorry past than to trust in a new future. So you fill your hands with small clammy coins which you don't want to surrender...don't be afraid of him who wants to enter that space where you live, or to let him see what you are clinging to so anxiously. Don't be afraid to show him the clammy coin which will buy so little anyway." - Henri Nouwen


Dear God--

When I live with open hands, I can not only give things up, but accept what you have for me. But right now, I am one frustrated individual. I feel so floaty, so future-less. I am trying very much to keep my hands open. "Nothing I have is yours" so easily slips out when I dearly want to want to say the opposite. I don't want that selfishness to be my heart. I want to keep my hands open, not grasping blindly, desperately to what I think is mine. I am terrified currently. My students aren't mine, my job is non-existent thus far, I have no home for next year, I am not graduating to "marital bliss" and many of my friends will be moving on. Please give me the faith that you will work things out because somehow you live me and somehow you've written me into your grand plan.





currently listening to: Joe Pug, Hymn #101