It takes a lot of creativity to come up with a good title sometimes...

So I'm taking this class about the history of Africa and lately we've been talking about the influx of Europeans during the 19th century due to colonialism, explorers and missionaries. We've been reading documents from those three groups of people and I've been very saddened to see how Africans were viewed by all three groups of those people, but especially those who went in the name of Christ. Here's a quote from a man, named Count Gobineau, who wrote an article called "Influence of Christianity upon Moral and Intellectual Diversity of Races" in 1856, "Intellect and learning are not necessary to salvation...I do not expect ever to see among [Africans] learned theologians, great statesmen, able military leaders, profound mathematicians, or distinguished artists..." How these thoughts must have grieved God. I know that people are flawed beyond belief, and God's people are not any different. This quote is from a European who is down playing and degrading Africans, but the truth of it is that people are always doing such things. Africans were enslaving Africans. It happens all over the world every day, but the thing that upsets me in this situation was that it was the church sending missionaries over to tell Africans to disregard their culture, telling them it had no part in the kingdom of Heaven and to preach equality while supporting inequality. Oh church, how do our heart stray so far from God's?

I was just thinking about that as I left class today.

Today I quit Caribou. I had worked there two days and got yelled at for things I didn't know to do, was belittled and made to feel stupid for asking questions, etc, all by my manager. Several times customers asked the manager to take it easier on us. The other boy that was training with me yesterday said, "If she yells at me one more time, I'm going to throw my apron at her, tell her I quit and got get high." I said, "Me too...Minus getting high." To which he replied, "To each his own."

So today, I called and quit. I was so excited about that job. After I quit, I felt so excited about life and going to school. Those two days were killer for my morale. I just felt so stupid and crushed and worthless. I cried both days when I got off. I realized that she wasn't a teacher, but those methods just weren't affective, nor were they professional.

I called the Inn to see if they still had a job for me, and I should start sometime next week. Not only that, but the family I've been babysitting is out of town this week and a family that I hadn't heard from to babysit in a while called me to babysit. This morning I had just prayed that God would still give me a babysitting job this week, and He did. OH, that reminds me. Oswald Chambers had a good point the other morning. (That makes it sound like we were hanging out.) He said "It's much easier to do something than to trust in God; we mistake panic for inspiration. That is why there are so few fellow workers with God and so many for Him. We would far rather work for God than believe in Him. Am I quite sure that God will do what I cannot do?" Smart, eh? Oh my gosh, and this one too.

Oswald, part two: "Supposing God tells you to do something that is an enormous test to your common sense, what are you going to do? If a man is going to do anything worthwhile, there are times when he has to risk everything on his leap, and in the spiritual domain Jesus Christ demands that you risk everything that you hold by common sense and leap into what he says and immediately you do, you find that what He says fits on as solidly as common sense. Trust entirely in God and when He brings you to a venture, see that you take it. We act like pagans in a crisis, only one out of a crowd is daring enough to bank his faith in the character of God."

Wasn't that good? You might want to re-read it several times. (Go ahead, I'll wait for you.)

Today was a wonderful day.

There is a man, on a ladder, right outside my window...



Currently eating: Gobstobers
Currently reading: Anna Karenina, Discourse on Colonialism, and Wallace Stevens
Currently listening to: Leah singing in the shower; don't worry, she's taking requests. Lawn mowers, weed whackers, and the occasional train.