“You say grace before meals. All right. But I say grace before the concert and the opera, and grace before the play and pantomime, and grace before I open a book, and grace before sketching, painting, swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing and grace before I dip the pen in the ink.” - G. K. Chesterton

Crazy Stupid Love

Last night Emily and I went to see Crazy Stupid Love in the dollar theater.

The premise of the story, featuring Ryan Gosling and Steve Carell, is that Carell's character is told by his wife that she wants a divorce. Carrell is devastated by the news and heads to the bar where he meets the sharply dressed, smooth, womanizing Gosling who offers to help Carrell become man enough to get his wife back. As Carrell fights to get his wife back, Gosling unintentionally falls in love with a girl(Emma Stone) realizing that while he was trying to "Miyagi" Carrell into being more like him, Gosling subconsciously is really looking to be more like Carrell. The movie makes it clear that Gosling is unhappy with his life, and it become apparent that falling in love is the solution to satisfy him.

As far as chick flicks go, this was a likable one. I laughed, I cried, and I made sure that I didn't internalize this message. In my eyes, Gosling's character is just a step away from becoming Carrell's character. Both are longing for love, which is a delightful sentiment but holds little weight compared to the heaviness of life. Passion fades and only marriages that are rooted in something deeper last.

I'd dare to even take this a step further. This weekend Emily, Laura Jo and I hosted a wedding shower for Kristi and Alex. We set up a station where people could write marriage advice for them. I couldn't help but think of something my Dad once told me about his and my Mom's relationship. He told me that commitment to a person fades, but your commitment to God doesn't. I think that often we look for a person's love to fix us, but only the love of God enables us to be fixed and love others.

This morning I was wrestling to have peace. I put on Ascend the Hill so I could listen to some hymns and try to focus on Jesus this morning instead of my worries and insecurities. The first song on the cd is "Be Thou My Vision." This song has long been a favorite of mine, but this morning it hit my heart in a way it never had before and suddenly I felt that I understood it.

Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart,
naught be all else to me, save that thou art;
Thou my best thought by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, thy presence my light.

Pardon my simple revelations, but so clearly this morning I realized that the way I view things often is not the way God sees things at all. The author of this hymn is asking God to be her sight, to see things for her. Eyes are the lense through which we view the world. Eyes allow us to take in light and know the truth. She is asking God to replace her shallow, colorless, nearly blind vision with His. How much more peace would we have if we could see the world through God's eyes, or at least trust that God can see the big picture even if we can't?

Last year many days I considered whether or not teaching was the profession for me. I had several classes that challenged me to the core. If you were to read the ISS lists, you would find many of my students listed day after day. These were the ones that I was given to serve and love, faithfully. Day in and day out. This brought me a lot of joy and pain.

This year thus far has been much easier, in part to the classes I'm teaching, and in part to the fact that it's my third year and I feel as though I might actually know what I'm doing.

I've seen already how my faithfulness to my kids last year is paying off. When my kids from last year need help, I am the one they seek out. From D knocking on my door to see if I could help him with school work to A getting kicked out of class and insisting that he would do work if he could sit in my classroom. My heart has widened for these kids and I am their biggest fan. I am so glad to be a resource and a safe place for them. I am realizing that God knew what he was doing when he gave me the kids he gave me last year. I have really found the desire rising in my to develop a program to mentor students like these. I'm excited to see them grow and hope that God will use my encouragement and prayers.

DIY: The Desk

I'd been looking all summer for a desk that I could make my own. I found one a week before school started and I finally finished it. Here it is!

Before:


After:

Today one of my students asked me how my weekend was. I thought for a moment and then laughed as I said, "I got sick, went to a funeral, and lost my cat -- you tell me!"

I can't help but think that my life plot sounds like the plot to a bad movie. I'm not saying all this to bemoan my life. Honestly, I just keep thinking over and over how important it is to tell people how much you love them as much as possible.

One of my favorite literary characters Emily Webb from Our Town says, "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?--every, every minute?"

I just keep thinking about that and how powerless you feel when you've lost something.