Christmas Expectations

It’s the time of year when all eyes should be on God, but like always Christmas time is no different than any other. We say every year, “it doesn’t feel like Christmas.” What is this feeling that we’re anticipating? Excitement? Extra joy? Some strange cool electricity in the air? What exactly do we expect from this season? I expect and I need to meet with a Holy God, because let me tell you how I really feel in this particular season—loneliness, loss, confusion, restlessness. And if I do not meet face to face with the Almighty God than the weariness that I feel in my soul may begin to ooze out of my finger tips, my eyes, and my heart.

Isn’t that what the Christmas season is about? Expectation. The expectation that God will move, mankind holding its breath and waiting to see the Lord of the universe will intersect and redeem the loneliness, loss, confusion, restlessness that the separation from Him create daily. How good God is to meet our expectations as we least expect and truly need. I am trusting for that and remembering quietly that “the hopes and fears of all the years are met in Thee tonight.”

This was the worst week I can remember in a long time. School was hard, home was hard, and Friday night I totaled my car.

I have been emotional all week. I think I cry more as an adult than I ever did as a kid. And yet, I have been cognizant and reminded of God's grace.

Things are going to be okay, and I can only trust that God will use these bumps to make me more like him.

Today I was having a conversation with a student in the hall. He made a comment about white people, and then after a moment followed it up with "oh sorry Ms. Jackson-- I forgot you were white."

He wasn't kidding or being rude. I was doing nothing out of the norm. Simply greeting my students as they came through my door or passed me in the hallway. I think it was a kingdom moment. A moment where, while J. is Hispanic and I am white, it didn't matter. He didn't notice. While he was making a comment about race, for a split second he simultaneously forgot about mine.

I look forward to Heaven, where we won't remember what our races are because we will all be worshipers of Jesus Christ and that will be the only thing that matters.

He sleeps next to me like this every night. Funny as it sounds, and with the risk of being called a "cat lady", I am really lucky.

"You'll All Have Chins"

This is a terrible quality youtube video of my favorite moment in 30 Rock Liz Lemon history. Turn up the volume, and you're welcome!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eK7B8RojBlk

Oh yeah. "Ms. Jackson got tatted!"